Roller Coaster Ride

Even though I was always afraid of heights, I love roller coasters. Steep drops, unexpected twists and turns and even the upside down loop--love them. Unfortunately, I don't feel the same way about metaphorical roller coasters. And certainly this last few weeks has been a white-knuckled (not quite so thrilling) thrill ride.

What started out as a seamless adoption as we welcomed our new son into our family quickly disintegrated into chaos and turmoil . . . .

Let me say at the outset, we love our son and our committed to being his parents. That hasn't changed.

What has changed is all the details surrounding the adoption. 1) There are possibilities regarding our new son's parentage that we never knew about. this is despite the fact that legal paperwork was filed with words like "under penalty of perjury." 2) New possibility for the birth father is certain that he is the father and is legally contesting the adoption. 3) This development is costing us a lot of money that we don't have. 4) There are also my feelings on the manner in which this situation is being handled, but I don't feel the need to record those in the public domain . . .

Don't get me wrong. I can sympathize with the desire of any birth father to meet their son and to want to have some control or influence in the young one's life. HOWEVER, there are ways to go about it. Again I'll spare you the details . . . At any rate, this is a mother vs. prospective father feud that we've unexpectedly caught ourselves in the middle of. Of course we've been assured by lawyers that we are standing on excellent legal grounds--how we will pay for this legal representation or get through the interim period without ulcers and high blood pressure is another issue.

Needless to say there has been considerable more stress and tears at our house than you would expect around the (what should be) joyful arrival of a new son. I think that's what really frustrates me. These should be happy, joyful days. Instead, our days are filled with worry, stress, and uncertainty.

We're left with the resolve to love our son for as long as we have him, be that two weeks or sixty years. That has not changed. We love our son. At the same time, we realize that we have no control in this uncertain situation and are forced to cling that much more tightly to our LORD who has everything in his capable hands.

So it is to Him that we pray for the very best for our son.

****Incidentally, I love how pictures can show a peaceful happy family without any of the tumultuous context.